As taught by Timothy O'Day.
In this equipping time series, we learn what biblical counseling is and why we should study it as a church.
Counseling (And Why You Need to Prepare for It)
#1 in a series on Counseling in the Church
Introduction: Foundations and Appliances
I want to point out a pattern in how we schedule these classes. In the spring, we usually cover a topic related to systematic theology. For example, last spring we covered the The Work of Christ and Salvation. In the fall, we usually cover what is termed as practical theology. For example, in the fall of 2023, we studied biblical interpretation or How to Read the Bible. This fall, we are going to cover counseling in the church. But I want to be clear that when I say practical theology, I am not implying that systematic theology is not practical. It most certainly is. This of it in terms of a house’s foundations and the appliances in the house. The deep study of theology is like the foundation of a house while studies in counseling are more like the fixtures and appliances in the house. Which do you think about and interact with more? What have a more practical use to you? The fixtures and appliances. But if you took away the foundation of the house, the fixtures and appliances would be lost to you as well. All of it depends on the foundation.
So, as we dive into the topic of counseling in the church, I hope you find it helpful and practical, but remember that it depends on things much deeper than we will have the ability to address in our brief time together. That is to say, don’t skip out on those deep conversations when we pick them back up in the spring. In fact, you will find that without deep theology, counseling is sure to be poor.
The Nature of Counseling (And Why You Need to Prepare for It)
I want to cover two questions today. First, “What is counseling?” And second, “Why are we studying it together as a church?
Before I lay out a definition, consider for a moment what you think counseling is. Many think of counseling as a professional meeting a client or an appointment in an office. Many think of counseling as two people getting together so that one of them can ask questions and let the other person unburden himself of his thoughts. Many people think of talk therapy that goes on for an indefinite amount of time. There are a lot of ideas out there about what therapy is. And, if you get deeper into it, there is a lot of animosity in the realm of counseling because people do not see eye to eye on what it is and, therefore, how it should be done.
Let’s begin by laying out a definition that we will use to think about counseling. In his book A Theology of Biblical Counseling, Heath Lamber defines counseling in this way:
“Counseling is a conversation where one party with questions, problems, and trouble seeks assistance from someone they believe has answers, solutions, and help.”
I like this definition because it immediately strikes you with the relevance of making yourself a competent counselor. According to this definition, you are counseling all the time. The only question is whether or not your counsel is good and true. In other words, do you really have answers, solutions, and help to give?
Asking that question of yourself in turn leads us to an answer to our question of why we are studying this as a church. Simply put, you are all counselors and we should aim to become good counselors.
What we will be studying, then, is how we can grow as a church in being better counselors to one another and others around us. We will be covering the basics so that you can grow in giving good counsel, but I also hope you understand that this is just a starting point. For the rest of your life, you should be growing and becoming a better counselor.
Turning to the Bible
In our pursuit to become better counselors, we should turn to the Bible. That is controversial because many people do not believe the Bible or think that the Bible is adequate to handle modern problems, but those are two issues that I would like to address more thoroughly another day. Right now I want to say that we need to turn to the Bible for the following reason: if counseling is offering answers, solutions, and help then we must have the right standard of truth, problems, and struggles.
Put another way, unless we can agree on what normal and right is, then there is no way in which we can discern what good counsel is. Let’s use an example to help us illustrate this. Imagine a woman who is married comes to you and says that she is unhappy in her marriage and she is considering a divorce. Her husband has checked out. He goes to work and stays there late. Once he comes home, he watches YouTube and then goes to bed. On the weekends he plays golf or focuses on another hobby. She has tried to get his attention but nothing is working, so now she is just frustrated and wants to quit. She asks you, “Do you think I should just leave him?”
Your answer depends on what you hold as authoritative truth. Your solution will be based on what you hold to as an authority. And your help will come from what you trust most. So, if you think that people deserve to be happy, think that feelings are authoritative, and trust your friend, then you will say, “Yeah, he doesn’t deserve you and God surely wants you to be happy.”
But if you hold to the Bible as God’s inerrant, sufficient, and authoritative word, then your answer will be much different. You will have to calmly but firmly reason with her from the Bible, saying that God does not approve of divorce in such a case, her problem is not really his disinterestedness (although that is a problem, it is not THE problem), and you will offer to help her see things from God’s perspective and not hers.
Biblical Counseling Is Discipleship
Based on that description, I want to point out and make clear what is probably already obvious to you: biblical counseling is discipleship. In discipleship, we do the following:
Go to God’s Word: discipleship is becoming more like Christ in our thoughts, feelings, and conduct. Before Jesus ascended, he gave this commission to his church in Matthew 28:19-20, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” This is a command that will last until the end of the age when Jesus returns. It is a command that Jesus will be with us to help us perform, which is a great comfort. It is a command that this given to the church and not just individuals in the church. This is our commission. As a church, we are to make disciples by calling them to follow Jesus, but that is not where discipleship ends. In discipleship, we are to teach others to observe all that Christ has commanded. Does anyone here feel confident that they are observing all that Christ commanded and don’t need any help from others? Absolutely not. This is part of what counseling is. When someone in the church comes to you and shares a problem they are having, they may not say the phrase, “I am struggling to understand how to see God rightly in this present struggle,” or, “I need help in understanding what obedience looks like for me in this difficult season, “ or, “I’m believing a lie about God that holding back my worship of him, but I can’t see it. Will you help me?” But that is really what they are asking. When we ask for counsel, we are asking for help in observing what Jesus has commanded. And that help is found in God’s Word, so we should go there. (As an aside, I hope thinking of counseling this way also makes you all more willing and ready to share your problems with each other and ask for him. There is no shame in it and the benefits are tremendous).
Apply God’s Word: Discipleship is not just about learning things. It is mostly about doing things. Jesus says that we are to teach others to observe all that he has commanded, not merely know what he has commanded. So our counseling of one another must not end with talk. It must move to action. If you are talking with someone and you have a realization, don’t confuse that for reformation. Realizing is seeing something as it truly is; reformation requires action in light of that realization. Helping one another means that we don’t even just talk about application, we have to follow through with one another to see if it actually happened. That’s part of helping in each other’s discipleship.
So others may worship: the ultimate goal of counseling is to help someone follow Jesus. The goal is not to fix every single little thing in a persons life. That is exhausting and would destroy your relationship. The goal of counseling is to help someone be more like Jesus. It is, in short, not to overcome every problem but to help a person overcome the principal worship problem. Our greatest problem is a problem of worship. Do you remember the Great Commandment? In Matthew 22:37 Jesus answers, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” All of our problems flow from not loving God as we should. So our main goal is to remove the obstacles of love and worship that are blocking a person’s path of following and being like Christ.
Does This Really Mean the Church Needs to Counsel?
Let’s get something out of the way. I do not think that everyone needs to learn how to counsel to the point that you could become a certified biblical counselor and take on counseling cases. What I want us to pursue as a church is a biblical vision of counseling as discipleship. Some of you will be better at this than others. That is fine and should not be a cause of jealousy. God has given different gifts to his body and we should thank him for that. But it also doesn’t excuse you from not aiming to grow in counseling.
So everyone should counsel, but not everyone will be equally as gifted in counseling. Look with me at Romans 15:14. Paul, as he was led by the Holy Spirit, writes, “I myself am satisfied with you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another.” Paul did not mean that they were equally as good as each other, but they are able because God had changed them and given them the knowledge necessary to give instruction (which is another word for counsel) to each other.
So who should do this ministry? Everyone. Turn to Galatians 6:1-2. “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” The expression “you who are spiritual” does not refer to people who are more spiritual than others. It is a reference to those who have the Spirit of God in them. That is you, church member. Since you have the Spirit of God in you, you are called to help those who are caught in transgression. You are charged with helping someone find healing through sin. And, in doing so, you are fulfilling the law of Christ to love as he loved you.
So everyone is called to this ministry of counseling, but I do want to assure you that pastors have a deeper responsibility than other members in the church. Hebrews 13:17 says this, “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
What does this mean? Leaders in the church, which I think is referring to the pastors in the church, will have to give an account one day for flock they oversee. Thus, they have a deep interest in making sure you are discipled and cared for. If a problem arises that you feel is too big for you, you are not burdening your pastors by bringing them into the situation. While I do want to see you grow in handling issues because that is what Scripture calls you to do, do not think of this as me trying to get you to stay away from me and Zach.
Why Is This So Important?
I hope at this point you can discern why this topic is so important. As we close, let me summarize why this is such a vital practice for us to grow in as a church. Paul writes in Colossians 1:28 as he summarizes what he does in his ministry, “Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ.”
While this is a summary of Paul’s ministry, I want to argue that it is also a summary of what all ministry is. The goal of ministry is to see people mature in the likeness of Christ. The way this happens is by Christ himself being proclaimed, which involves warning others as they stray from him and teaching everyone with God’s wisdom how they can walk like him.
The key means of maturity into Christlikeness is the church and the key tool is our speech to one another. This doesn’t happen just in sermons. This happens as the whole body seeks to help edify one another, as we read in Ephesians 4:15-16, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”
Amen. May God help us as we aim to do this at Christ Fellowship.
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